Did you smell that?

It has been about three weeks since I first arrived in the Big Apple, and I’ve got to share an important lesson. Your nose can very quickly become one of your best friends.

You must be this tall to lose an eye...

During my first few weeks in New York City, I have learned that an umbrella is an invaluable tool for any New Yorker. Some days the weather forecasters are spot on, and you’ll be completely prepared for a downpour. This is, unfortunately, not always the case. The rain will start to trickle down upon you like a soft refreshing mist amidst stank garbage piles, and then bam! All of the sudden it’s a monsoon.

Luckily you have hidden inside of your bag…

…pause for dramatic tension music…

…your trusty umbrella!

Now if you’re like most New Yorkers, your sprinkle shield friend has seen a few storms in its time. Many people pop open their water flower only to show that it’s missing some of its petals. Or maybe the wind has tossed it about one too many times, and one or two of its phalanges are bent horribly out of place. Makeshift splints hold them together, but some are just too far gone. You almost feel sorry for the poor things.

That is until you remember that the wretched former umbrella creature is being wielded by a seemingly unfeeling efficiency machine (that’s a New Yorker, by the way) who seems to aim the jagged weather worn fingertips directly for your eyeballs!

I really think my issue is height related. At 6’2”, my eyes fall where most people’s umbrellas seem to rest. In the hustle and bustle of New York City life, people don’t generally take the time to watch where they’re going let alone where an extension of their arm should fall. My umbrella seems to easily glide above the heads in the crowd while I’m left to whip my head around in some complex neck dance. It’s all very Matrix, really. I don’t know how I’ve gotten out intact.

So what, dear friends, is the lesson of the day?

If you live in or are coming to visit New York City and you happen to fall in the height range of 6’-6’4”, I highly recommend you keep both eyes wide open on a rainy day. Even if you should forget your umbrella, the masses surely have not. And believe me, the majority of these trusty tools will unwittingly land directly at your eye level. Be warned.

And some advice for those of you below 6’ tall: please be considerate of your taller brethren. I know it’s difficult to notice every living soul in an endless sea of people, but it doesn’t take too much extra effort to glance up from time to time. Who knows? You might just save someone’s eye.

Lesson Learned: In NYC, 6’2” is just the right height to lose an eye to an umbrella.